I have many good intentions. One in particular was to write about Vampires in western culture, maybe even a comparison/contrast of ancient slavic blood-sucking demons and the fang-free, Dawson’s Creek vampires of Twilight. But I neither have the back-ground, nor the time to do either justice. Instead, I will illustrate in one run-on sentence why there has been a very steady stream of the undead coffin-jockeys enjoying the  UV-free spotlight since at least the late 1920’s.

Writers love vampires for many reasons, mostly to use well-worn plot devices in new ways; such as flashbacks to much earlier times, addiction metaphors, obsession, a almost universally accepted set of bylaws, brooding internal monologues, simultaneous immortality and vulnerability, and gobs (and GOBS) of sexual tension, to name a few.

As I am not an expert, I will just take the rest of the space to mention that not all western renderings of vampire lore are that bad. For instance, after years of thought, I am prepared to say that “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” did not suck, despite the Oscars. Not completely. Despite Keanu’s, criticly accaimed performance in “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey,” he didn’t live up to my expectations and Wynona’s pre-”Reality Bites” angst didn’t satisfy at all.

However, the other performers came straight from Chapter One of “How to Cast a Film.” Gary Oldman as Dracula even now give me goosebumps, if you haven’t seen “The Dark Knight,” he plays Jim Gordon… magnificently. Anthony Hopkins. Cary Elwes is one of Lucy’s suitors, and great even with a crappy accent. A red-headed Sadie Frost as Lucy. Awesome. Tom Waits as Renfield, but unfortunately no music.

Oh yeah, if you are paying attention, Monica Bellucci is also in it, but you have to rent the R-rated version.